We all have them. Maybe it is the what if's that haunt me from living with an addict who didn't survive or maybe it is the hope in having a brother alive with six years of sobriety behind him, still having to take one day at a time. Whatever it may be, my SCARS led me here to share the stories of those who survived. The ones who not just take one day at a time but one breath at a time.
From henceforth let no man trouble me: for I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus.
By His scars we are healed.
My name is Amy Briers and here is a little bit of my story… I’d like to say that my story is slightly different than your average drug user story. I grew up in a loving family, was raised by both my parents, played soccer all through my childhood, and did exceptionally well in school. When I was 13, I remember feeling this huge void inside that I can’t even explain. I didn’t feel as if I fit in anywhere. I began hanging with “the wrong crowd”. It was there that I met my first real boyfriend that would later introduce me to cocaine and marijuana. I was 15 when I first experienced these drugs and didn’t like the way they made me feel but continued to use recreationally anyways. Hanging with the same crowd and boyfriend, we began partying more often and I had my first experience with Lortabs and hydrocodone at the age of 16. I ended up leaving that boyfriend but continued to party and be friends with him.
When I was 18, I had to have a tonsillectomy and was prescribed liquid oxycodone. This was the first time I remember experiencing that extreme high feeling. I began abusing my prescription. I felt as though I fit in as long as I was high on this medicine. Of course, that medicine didn’t last forever. It was then I had my first experience being “dope sick”. Although at the time I thought it was just the flu, one of my family members explained to me that I was withdrawing from my prescription. Hesitant, I got my first Oxy pill and snorted it. It instantly took all my sickness away. At this point my addiction really took off. I started using daily and this drug consumed my whole life.
I continued to try and fill that void. I started dating a guy when I was 20. Things moved fast for us. Despite our using we were absolutely crazy about each other. He was my best friend and I loved him. We talked about wanting a better life for each other and him being 12 years older than me, we wanted to start a family. We had this bizarre idea that a baby was going to “fix” everything. I gave birth to my beautiful daughter in May of 2015. She had changed everything. It was then that I seriously tried to get clean. I struggled with trying to maintain my recovery. Which led to open CPS cases, jails, and in and out of rehabs in the upcoming years. Tragically, in August of 2018, I lost my best friend, boyfriend of 6 years, and father of my child to an accidental overdose. Feeling absolutely heartbroken, hollow, and lonely I was desperate for change. I was terrified that my daughter would lose her mother to this disease also. I began praying like I never had before and pleading to God-to please give me the strength to get through this. It was then that something had changed in my heart. I just felt ready and stronger than ever. I immediately started seeking help.
My clean date is January 10, 2019. I can honestly say I’m at peace with my past today and I know this whole time God has had a plan for my life. I currently work as a Recovery Coach helping others through my experience, strength, and hope. I’m involved in 12-step meetings and have a great understanding relationship with God. I start college next week to further my education in pursuing a career in social work so I can continue helping others. I finally accept and love myself. I’m in a healthy, loving relationship with my boyfriend who is also in recovery. I have full custody of my amazing little girl and no longer deal with CPS. I’ve also gained an amazing, trustworthy relationship with my parents and family. I have the best support group cheering me on my recovery journey. Today, I pay my own rent and bills, which may seem simple to most but is huge for those of us that have struggled with addiction. My heart is extremely full of joy and gratitude. I hope my story is an inspiration to someone out there struggling to get clean. I want to encourage people that recovery is possible.